i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Send help, water and tortillas.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I am one with the molecules
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
