i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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