If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize