I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Randomize
