Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Just invented taco cereal.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Randomize
