Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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