woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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