She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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