But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
