omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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