I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
