omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
