I look better un-naked...
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Randomize
