I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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