I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Randomize
