There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
