Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Randomize
