haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
