just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I AM VODKA MAN
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
