remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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