Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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