I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
