so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
