She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
