The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize