Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
