What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
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What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
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Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
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