i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
If I die, sorry about rent.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize