Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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