On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize