I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
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If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
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Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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