its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
