he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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