Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
There's always time for handjobs
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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