Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
