Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
