Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I will be naked everywhere
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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