Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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