Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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