we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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