Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
