I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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