we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
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