he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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