I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
