He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Operation Purity has been aborted
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Less talking, more tequila
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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