Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
