There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
