just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
