I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
