I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
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bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
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Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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