wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
