party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
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so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
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I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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