I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
