I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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