sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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