just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
